Myths and Truths of Calling Part III

Myth #2: Clarity of Calling Brings Ease and Comfort

This series was first presented as a talk to college seniors and young 20-somethings. If the #1 Myth is ‘Pursue your Passion’ and ‘Make an Impact’, then Myth # 2 will unpack further why this is problematic  and the implications of this mindset. For these beautiful, bright young people the first two myths were front and center in their responses. I heard over and over again comments such as:

“well, I don’t have my dream job yet, but….”

“number one for me is finding a job that has purpose and where I can make an impact, immediately…”

“well, I am not going to just take any job, I want one that lets me do only the things I am passionate about…”

“once I know my calling, then I will know just what to do next…”

There were more, but you get the idea.

“Figuring Out Calling”

MYTH #2: I have to “figure out” my calling now, quickly and completely. And MYTH 2.1: Once I figure out my calling, life will be so much easier. No more anxiety or worry.

TRUTH #2:  Calling cannot be figured out.

Rather, it is revealed over time through experiences and the taking of risks. Calling is understanding who you are IN CHRIST and bringing that to whatever assignment God has given you. I say often, that calling or vocation, transcends location and occupation. Calling is that whom God has uniquely created you to be in every role you have in life. And it is never a straight line. The journey of calling is filled with deep valleys, many cliffs and, if we are blessed, a few mountaintops along the way.

A few years ago, I asked Dr. Steve Garber, author of two very good books—The Fabric of Faithfulness and Visions of Vocation—and therefore perhaps one of the foremost thinkers and teachers on Christian vocation—to define calling and vocation for me. He answered this way:

“The word vocation is a rich one, having to address the wholeness of life, the range of relationships and responsibilities. Work, yes, but also families, and neighbors, and citizenship, locally and globally—all of this and more is seen as vocation, that to which I am called as a human being, living my life before the face of God. It is never the same word as occupation, just as calling is never the same word as career. Sometimes, by grace, the words and the realities they represent do overlap, even significantly; sometimes, in the incompleteness of life in a fallen world, there is not much overlap at all.”

As we explore our calling over time, by trying some things and taking some risks, we will likely discover that the things we are passionate about change and shift, as we saw in the last post passion is not static. If we adopt a mindset that once we figure it out, we lock and load for life on that one “thing”, then we are severely limiting our ability to grow and learn. There are a few people who know at very young age where they want to focus their energy and work, but for most of us it is a journey of discovery and learning. We try things, we have success and failure, we adjust and over time we choose a path that seems reasonably good.

But even then, we hit inflection points along the way (sometimes called mid-life crises, or quarter-life crises if you are 25) and question our choices and  our path as we sense something missing or that we are stuck. Uncovering calling is a much deeper journey into who we are, understanding the core of our identity and then releasing the attachments that are keeping us stuck or have derailed us in some way. Calling is first and foremost about who we are, not what we do. So we must be willing to do the hard work of self-reflection, of digging deep into unearthing our inner vows and deeply held convictions. We need to pull them up and out to examine them and then release those that are no longer serving us well of that are keeping us stuck in unhealthy patterns of dysfunction. And this is hard, very hard.

Truth 2.1: Calling, which is always emerging and refining, is HARD.

Knowing what “it (calling)” is does not guarantee ease or comfort. In fact, it may be just the opposite. As you become clearer on your calling it requires a kind of obedience and willingness to do very hard things that you could never imagine.

Dan Allender says it this way:

 “When people use the word calling, they’re usually referring to a to-do list, a job offer, or a wish list for our dream job. The truth about calling is that it has little to do with any of these. In fact, I believe God is most committed to dissolving and re-creating our dreams. God births dreams in us and then allows the desire to move us; and it is in the pursuit of our dreams that we encounter tragedy and meet the deeper desires that only loss and heartache can reveal.”[1]

Calling is most often revealed in our suffering and failure.

Which means we must be willing to take risks.

Consider this story.

18 months ago, I decided to pursue physical health and wellness in a very intentional way. I was not sure where to begin, but a FaceBook post by an old friend with before and after pictures documenting her weight loss with this caption “I lost 60 lbs. without breaking a sweat” sounded like my kind of deal. I reached out and she connected me to her wellness coach. She shared that by “fixing her food” through a customized food plan, she had over many months shed the unwanted weight she had battled with most of her adult life. I went to the website of #BeMarthaFit and was immediately captured by the founder’s process, and by her story. Which started with something like this: “I have tried every diet under the sun…” Sounded very familiar.

I explored the program and within a few weeks I had committed to her 12-week program to get started. 16 months later I have lost nearly 70 lbs, reversed pre-type II diabetes and realized many other benefits, far beyond just physical health. (More on this in a future blog.)

What I want to share with you is a glimpse into the “calling” of Martha Van Camp. Her own journey, told on the website in great detail, is hardly one of joy and ease. Martha has 7 children, a husband who spent many months deployed when the kids were young and she held an executive position with a media company. After trying many diet and weight loss programs with only short term or no success, she decided to go on her own learning journey and soon developed a food plan for herself based on macro-nutrition. Over time, she lost 100 lbs. and began to write food plans for people who had seen her dramatic change and asked her for help. Before you know it, #BeMarthaFit was born and she now has a team of coaches, all of whom are clients who have had their own success, a robust online community of support of her faithful “#BMF” tribe, including a successful client who does nothing but craft healthy “plan” compliant recipes for us all to enjoy.

So here is the question, did Martha know at the age of 21 that this was her “passion”? That helping men and women achieve their wellness and weight goals would be her calling? Of course not.

This emerged out of her own enormous pain and suffering, or as she often says “I got sick and tired of being sick and tired.” And since launching the business formally a few years ago, has it been a walk in the park? I only know a bit of the journey but I know it has been hard. It has required real risk and saying yes to assignments that are hard and anxiety producing along the way. And Martha herself is still on the wellness journey right alongside the hundreds of people she helps. She has bad days, she stumbles and goes off plan. And she shares that with all of us for her own accountability and to encourage the rest of us that this is truly a journey towards wholeness.

We can’t sit down with a journal in a couple of hours and figure out our calling, it must be excavated and tested over time. It is often born out of our own pain and loss. And once we gain some degree of clarity, that does not guarantee ease or comfort. Rather, it requires risk and whole-hearted commitment over time.

If this is true, then where does “God’s will” fit into the picture? Myth #3 next week will explore discerning God’s will and our calling- what it is and what it is not.

If you are interested in exploring your own “Wholeness Journey” please contact me at lisa@tamimpartners.com.

[1] https://plf.org/uploads/2016/09/Getting-Caught-By-Your-Calling_Allendar.pdf

Myths and Truths of Calling Part II

Myth #1: Pursue Your Passion

MYTH #1: You should pursue your passion and find your dream job. This is a big one, and has a related Myth- Myth 1.1 -that you should seek a job that ‘makes an impact’.

There is commonly held adage furthers this myth: Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.

Passion is a NOT a wise Job Search Criteria

TRUTH #1: There is no such thing as a dream job and pursuing your passion is a poor criterion for a job search.  My colleague Missy Wallace, who runs the Nashville Institute for Faith and Work, recently wrote a great article on this topic for The Gospel Coalitions ‘Thistles and Thorns” blog called “ What if My Work Isn’t My Passion?” —here are some of her thoughts:

She proposes “that both social science and also God’s Word refute passion as a major job-search criterion.” And she offers these four principles to bear in mind:

1. “Finding your passion” assumes passion is a fixed and/or inherent quality, whereas social science research suggests it’s more of a developing and changing quality. Seeing passion as “fixed” can be limiting.

2. Passions, when channeled into work, often don’t translate to gifting. For instance, we all know people who love to cook and might even consider themselves passionate about food and cooking. Should they open a restaurant? Do they have the skills to run this kind of time intense, low margin business?

3. Science reveals that turning a passion into paid work can cause it to lose its inherent pleasure. “Research shows that being paid to do something can make it mean less to us,” wrote David Silverman, a senior executive at a Fortune 500 company. “By turning something enjoyable, like a jigsaw puzzle or a knitting project, into a paid activity, we turn hours of freely given effort into a commodity. It’s no longer a labor of love; it’s $10 an hour. The intangible nature of pleasure that derives from the activity is lost.”

4. Scripture reveals that even though God created us to take dominion and create productive flourishing, all work includes toil, regardless of its alignment with our interest and giftings. In secular verbiage, “work” is called “work” because it is “work.” The only people I’ve ever met who claim they “never worked a day in their lives” are ones reflecting back on their careers—and perhaps forgetting the difficulties the way a mother forgets the pain of labor. But those in the trenches, no matter how “called” they feel or how much they adore their work, almost always admit to its challenges and brokenness.

So if passions can evolve over time, are sometimes divorced from our natural gifting, and can lose their sense of pleasure if they become paid work, what should we consider in our job selections?

Of all the books on calling and vocation, Os Guinness’s The Call[1] is perhaps the most clarifying and encouraging. First, Guinness encourages us to think of having a “Caller” before a “calling.” So as you consider your work and your passions, are you considering what your Caller wants for you and how you can serve Him by advancing His kingdom?”

Consider these alternative truths-

·      Do you know about your wiring, gifting and strengths? Do some exploration through assessments such as DISC, Strengthsfinder, the Enneagram and others to gain insight into how you move and work at your best.

·      Vocational fulfillment and job satisfaction are pretty postmodern notions- the truth is that God calls us to be faithful and obedient in all work we undertake- how you bring yourself to your daily work (paid or unpaid)- even if it is not inherently“fulfilling” -is a key element of calling.

·      What in your current circumstances is fixed- unchangeable; and what are the things you can change?[2]

Make an Impact

The myths of ‘passion’ and ‘impact’ are pervasive in our culture. Two and maybe three generations of young people have been encouraged to think this way about their work- it has to have purpose, they must be passionate about it and it must make an impact in some socially positive way.

We live in an era where many of us have what Amy Sherman calls “vocational power”, meaning we have an abundance of choices and options when it comes to our work lives. Generations before us had little of the freedom to choose our work we take for granted today. The question that we must wrestle with now is one of stewardship- the wise management of our choices not where we believe we can have the most influence or even results. We, wrongly assume that God needs us to determine how and when we will have an impact or advance His Kingdom. That is His work to do in and through us. Our assignment is to steward ourselves well in whatever circumstances we find ourselves in- whether we have some degree of power or are merely a cog in a wheel.

I would humbly contend that God cares little about your “Impact” but cares a great deal about your character- that you are faithful, obedient and a good steward of that which He has put before you, today, whether in your ‘dream job’ or working at Noodles and Co just to pay the bills.

Finally, calling often emerges out of a season of extraordinary pain or challenge. If we presume to equate calling with our current and limited understanding of passion, we place limits on what God might call us towards on a path we could could never predict or plan. Next week, we will unpack Myth #2 of Calling- Clarity of calling makes life easy.

[1] Os Guiness, The Call

[2]Missy Wallace,  https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/thorns-thistles-work-isnt-passion/

Myths and Truths of Calling Part I

CALLING MATTERS

As a leadership advisor and executive coach, I spend much of my time working with leaders and their teams to build healthy organizations. One of the questions I am often asked is “what is the biggest pain point that leaders most often come to you about?” You might expect the answer to sound something like “I am worried about the strategic direction of my team or organization” or “My organization’s mission is not clear” or “I don’t have the resources- money, people, material – to do what I believe we should be doing.” Or “I am not sure what I am doing is actually making a difference”

But it is none of those things, at least not primarily.

 What I hear and see over and over again from leaders, I have boiled down to this:

“Who I am and what I am doing everyday are disconnected, I feel like I am falling apart.”

And this is where leadership and discipleship collide; what we have come to call in our practice, “Vocational Discipleship or Whole-life Discipleship”.

COHERENCE 
I believe that the greatest pain point in the life of many leaders AND everyday workers is a lack of coherence, what is best captured in the Hebrew word  “Tamim”. There are many Hebrew words that are difficult to translate into our limited English language. Tamim is one of them, it can mean perfect or blameless (as used to describe Job, for example) but its more robust definition is that it means integrity or wholeness.

Have you ever considered that the word integrate and integrity come from the same root word? The cry of the human heart is for this deep sense of coherence or integration.

No matter where we find ourselves in the vocational journey—our 20’s 40’s or 60’s—we can experience this lack of coherence or disintegration.

For some of us the path seems clear. You have your job settled, your location, partner and community all lined up. But for many of us the pressure is real to get it figured out and you  may feel confused, anxious and alone, wondering am I the only one who is struggling?

 And we are reluctant to admit to anyone that the fear and anxiety is real.

 We live in a cultural moment that I have recently heard described as a VUCA world- Volatile, Uncertain, Complex and Ambiguous. And in the midst of this massive complexity, the culture has developed some powerful myths that are hard to ignore or have crept into our minds and hearts.

In the coming weeks we will look at the Myths and then the Truths that we can trust as we navigate this VUCA world.

MYTH 1 Pursue Your Passion

MYTH 2 Clarity of Calling brings Ease

MYTH 3 God’s Will for Me is a ________ (job, partner, house, community etc)

MYTH 4 Worth is Determined By Performance

MYTH 5 Calling is Discerned Individually

MYTH 6 Calling Ensures ‘Work/Life Balance’

Thank you for reading, please reach out to continue the conversation or learn more about our work-lisa@tamimpartners.com.